Friday, February 16, 2007
Irises and Tulips and...Bears?!? Oh. My.
I've been the bear. Not too bad, but definitely impatient and a little grouchy. Since a little over a week ago. That's when I was prancing and I fell.
The thing is, I pride myself on my use of my back, of which I'm very careful, primarily because it helps to have a strong, healthy back (and a fluid mind) working a job such as this...companionating a Beloved Ancient One. I'm the only, yes, that's right, in a birth family of six and a few brothers-in-law, I'm the only one who's never had a problem with my back. [I secretly attribute this, as well, to the fact that's I've never suffered someone who was a pain-in-the-ass...but that's just between you and me.]
I was wearing my favorite shoes...Dr. Martens, an elevated (by about 1.25 inches) heavy leather sandal, which suit my stride, my feet and my sense of myself as somewhat taller than I am, so I was feeling good. I was also buying, among other things, a 40 lb bag of cat litter at a feed store which is little more than a warehouse, set on a platform of unpaved, lightly stoned, hay strewn land (sometimes people ride their horses there). I had no problem shifting my purchases from shelves to check-out to truck. I was swaggering back around the front of the car, feeling competent and strong, and my foot caught the shifty ground a little off, folded from the outside and down I went, swaying back then forward. I skinned my knee pretty bad. Shades of second grade bad, when my mother once joked with me that if I didn't stop skinning my knees I'd have no knees left. The problem was that I fell awkwardly and found myself having to reach for the bed of the truck to pull myself up, since I wasn't sure my injured foot would cooperate, or if it should. Although I wasn't aware of it until the day after, I guess I must have pulled the muscles across my upper butt.
It's the first time I've ever experienced back pain. What a bitch! Jesus! And, apparently I'm experiencing only mild discomfort! It's like having to carry your demons on your back all day. Impossible to get comfortable at night. Once, many years ago, I had a kidney (not bladder, not urinary tract, kidney) inflammation. That hurt like a son-of-a-bitch all the time...until the antibiotics took effect. I didn't know what that was until I started running a fever and figured a wrenched back probably doesn't cause fevers. I have only a vague memory of that pain, although I do remember that it was on two sides, rather than across, like a belt, like this pain. My memory of that pain is so vague that for a couple of days I thought I might be developing another kidney inflammation, thus, didn't take any analgesics. I also drank lots of detox tea, cut way back on food and stopped two of my usual pill supplements (the Black Cohosh and the multi-vitamin). I was just about resigned to having to go to Urgent Care when I realized that I'm not running fever, the problem is my muscles, not my organs. I've been continuing to be kind to my kidneys, though, but I've been taking aspirin. That's been keeping the pain to a low roar. Yesterday I only took it once. I'm thinking the same may be true today.
I guess I shouldn't complain. I once witnessed MPS experience a back spasm and the evidence of her sudden, intense pain was so obvious I burst into tears. I have experienced nothing of that sort, but, still, I'm not a fan of back injury.
So, I've been a little short and tight. And, it hasn't helped that Mom can't remember my excuse. I stopped repeating it when I wince and she questions it because the repetition threatened to drive me crazy. I even told her that. Now, I have to repeat this...but, it's shorter. Last night, in the middle of the night when she made a bathroom run and I awoke to tend to her, she started talking about Iowa, relatives, and I said, eyes only half open, "No conversation. I need sleep. Back to bed." I could see, in my upper peripheral vision, that she took offense, but I must have sounded serious enough to stop her from responding.
She did, however, respond yesterday afternoon. We snapped at each other and she finally said, "I'll be glad when your period's over!"
I laughed.
So, after about three days of this, I decided to order us some flowers...a huge bouquet of cut indigo irises and red tulips. They arrived yesterday and are still opening. I decided this morning to maneuver her into the first of two blood draws we'll do before our upcoming routine appointment on March 22nd. As she sat at the dinette table while I did her hair, the sun poured in on the largest of two vases full of the flowers.
"Look! They're glittering!" my mother exclaimed.
Definitely therapeutic.
Today is the first day Mom's moved significantly in some time. Every once in awhile she's had a week where she'll walk around more in the house. I think I got her to Fry's once this late fall, winter season. There was Christmas, too. But, pretty much, I finally stopped harassing her to even walker a little in the house, "to keep [her] loose." Her reaction to such suggestion has not been favorable, and I continue to agree with the FNP that peace is better than the aggravation of trying to get Mom to do something in which she's not interested.
She was, admittedly, stiff, today, unprepared for the exercise. She did well, though. She's napping now, and I'm going to let her go for awhile. I may be able to talk her into taking an adult aspirin at bedtime. Or maybe an ibuprofen. She'd suggested that we go out for breakfast after having her blood drawn. I stopped at the bank for cash, as our favorite breakfast restaurant is a local place that only deals in cash. By the time we pushed her into the car after the draw, she wasn't interested in emerging until we got home.
"It's been awhile since I've been out, I guess," she commented, once we got home.
"Yeah, it has. That's all right. You'll get used to it."
She gave me a wary look. "Not too fast," she said.
When I'd walked her to the car, as the sun shone over us, she turned her face to it and closed her eyes. Our living room is bathed in sun from late fall to mid-spring. It was built to take advantage of the winter sun and deflect the summer sun. She loves this, so she gets plenty of sun even when she doesn't get out. She noted, though, as she turned toward the car, "Now, that's sun."
Remembering this, and watching her bask in the sun at the lab parking lot before we entered the lobby, I later suggested, "I've got yard work to start, here, soon. I'm going to need a supervisor." I reminded her, too, that, when she awakens for her day she's, lately, been gazing out the back Arcadia door on her way to the bathroom and saying, "I'll be glad when it's warm enough to spend some time out there."
Although she didn't say yes, to the yard work, she didn't say no. She agreed that "getting out in the yard sounds good, this year."
Anyway, the reasons I haven't been here for awhile are many...some having to do with the activity of sitting being uncomfortable, even in tailor style on the floor. I need to get back to it, though. I've got taxes to finish this weekend. I'm proud of myself for being earlier than usual, although I'm a little later than I thought I'd be. I just haven't been feeling much like doing all the typing I'm going to have to do for our itemized stuff. But, my back's feeling better, now.
I've also been pleased about my relaxed stat taking. Occasionally, I get into a swing where the stats use me rather than me using the stats. I think I've still got all the numbers I've taken, but I've been using them on the fly and not obsessing over recording them. It's nice. But, I need to download and set those up for her upcoming appointment, so I'll probably be a bit more reliable over at The Dailies.
I need to skedaddle over to Revolution and make a mark so I can stay in the trial period. I've been meaning to get back to a couple commenters, and try a few things over there. I just haven't gotten back.
So, that's what's been going on. I should be able to obtain and post her blood draw stats Monday: a CBC and BMP. I think I'll have both done next month, too, just so that we've got a bit of a flow. Her last one was in September. It'll be interesting to see how this one compares to that. I don't expect much change, but I'm wondering about her renal functions. I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but I'm curious.
Oh. Almost forgot. Interesting thing happened at the lab. The technician who took Mom's blood noted that, birthday wise, Mom was coming up on "a big one".
Although Mom can spit out her birth date with the best of them (which one is required to do, now, before having blood drawn, in order to confirm that paper and person match), she has no idea what year we're in, so she had to be prompted that she was turning 90. The tech, who is probably about my age, slipped into this so smoothly I thought, Ah, ha, she's taken care of one or both of her Ancient parents.
I was only slightly off. She volunteered, "My mom's 93 this year. She was really excited about turning 90. She said, 'I'll bet I can make the next big one.'" Nodding to Mom, she said, "That's 100, you know."
I asked her if her mother still lived on her own.
"She's lives with my brother," she said.
"Oh! How is she doing?"
That's when the interesting thing happened. The tech paused, just for a moment...a very noticeable moment. Then she nodded. "She's fine," she said, finishing up the needle prep, to which she'd been paying very close attention as I talked with her.
I knew exactly what she was thinking. She was picturing her Mom...who probably had a few "conditions", maybe more...she was flashing on her brother, perhaps her brother's family, and how much outside energy it takes to keep her mother going, maybe she was calculating how long she thought her mother still has here, and what all this says about whether her mother can really be said to be "fine", and she was quickly satisfying herself that, yes, "She's fine."
My heart lurched.
I nodded. My Mom's fine, too. She won't always be, but she is today.
Later.
The thing is, I pride myself on my use of my back, of which I'm very careful, primarily because it helps to have a strong, healthy back (and a fluid mind) working a job such as this...companionating a Beloved Ancient One. I'm the only, yes, that's right, in a birth family of six and a few brothers-in-law, I'm the only one who's never had a problem with my back. [I secretly attribute this, as well, to the fact that's I've never suffered someone who was a pain-in-the-ass...but that's just between you and me.]
I was wearing my favorite shoes...Dr. Martens, an elevated (by about 1.25 inches) heavy leather sandal, which suit my stride, my feet and my sense of myself as somewhat taller than I am, so I was feeling good. I was also buying, among other things, a 40 lb bag of cat litter at a feed store which is little more than a warehouse, set on a platform of unpaved, lightly stoned, hay strewn land (sometimes people ride their horses there). I had no problem shifting my purchases from shelves to check-out to truck. I was swaggering back around the front of the car, feeling competent and strong, and my foot caught the shifty ground a little off, folded from the outside and down I went, swaying back then forward. I skinned my knee pretty bad. Shades of second grade bad, when my mother once joked with me that if I didn't stop skinning my knees I'd have no knees left. The problem was that I fell awkwardly and found myself having to reach for the bed of the truck to pull myself up, since I wasn't sure my injured foot would cooperate, or if it should. Although I wasn't aware of it until the day after, I guess I must have pulled the muscles across my upper butt.
It's the first time I've ever experienced back pain. What a bitch! Jesus! And, apparently I'm experiencing only mild discomfort! It's like having to carry your demons on your back all day. Impossible to get comfortable at night. Once, many years ago, I had a kidney (not bladder, not urinary tract, kidney) inflammation. That hurt like a son-of-a-bitch all the time...until the antibiotics took effect. I didn't know what that was until I started running a fever and figured a wrenched back probably doesn't cause fevers. I have only a vague memory of that pain, although I do remember that it was on two sides, rather than across, like a belt, like this pain. My memory of that pain is so vague that for a couple of days I thought I might be developing another kidney inflammation, thus, didn't take any analgesics. I also drank lots of detox tea, cut way back on food and stopped two of my usual pill supplements (the Black Cohosh and the multi-vitamin). I was just about resigned to having to go to Urgent Care when I realized that I'm not running fever, the problem is my muscles, not my organs. I've been continuing to be kind to my kidneys, though, but I've been taking aspirin. That's been keeping the pain to a low roar. Yesterday I only took it once. I'm thinking the same may be true today.
I guess I shouldn't complain. I once witnessed MPS experience a back spasm and the evidence of her sudden, intense pain was so obvious I burst into tears. I have experienced nothing of that sort, but, still, I'm not a fan of back injury.
So, I've been a little short and tight. And, it hasn't helped that Mom can't remember my excuse. I stopped repeating it when I wince and she questions it because the repetition threatened to drive me crazy. I even told her that. Now, I have to repeat this...but, it's shorter. Last night, in the middle of the night when she made a bathroom run and I awoke to tend to her, she started talking about Iowa, relatives, and I said, eyes only half open, "No conversation. I need sleep. Back to bed." I could see, in my upper peripheral vision, that she took offense, but I must have sounded serious enough to stop her from responding.
She did, however, respond yesterday afternoon. We snapped at each other and she finally said, "I'll be glad when your period's over!"
I laughed.
So, after about three days of this, I decided to order us some flowers...a huge bouquet of cut indigo irises and red tulips. They arrived yesterday and are still opening. I decided this morning to maneuver her into the first of two blood draws we'll do before our upcoming routine appointment on March 22nd. As she sat at the dinette table while I did her hair, the sun poured in on the largest of two vases full of the flowers.
"Look! They're glittering!" my mother exclaimed.
Definitely therapeutic.
Today is the first day Mom's moved significantly in some time. Every once in awhile she's had a week where she'll walk around more in the house. I think I got her to Fry's once this late fall, winter season. There was Christmas, too. But, pretty much, I finally stopped harassing her to even walker a little in the house, "to keep [her] loose." Her reaction to such suggestion has not been favorable, and I continue to agree with the FNP that peace is better than the aggravation of trying to get Mom to do something in which she's not interested.
She was, admittedly, stiff, today, unprepared for the exercise. She did well, though. She's napping now, and I'm going to let her go for awhile. I may be able to talk her into taking an adult aspirin at bedtime. Or maybe an ibuprofen. She'd suggested that we go out for breakfast after having her blood drawn. I stopped at the bank for cash, as our favorite breakfast restaurant is a local place that only deals in cash. By the time we pushed her into the car after the draw, she wasn't interested in emerging until we got home.
"It's been awhile since I've been out, I guess," she commented, once we got home.
"Yeah, it has. That's all right. You'll get used to it."
She gave me a wary look. "Not too fast," she said.
When I'd walked her to the car, as the sun shone over us, she turned her face to it and closed her eyes. Our living room is bathed in sun from late fall to mid-spring. It was built to take advantage of the winter sun and deflect the summer sun. She loves this, so she gets plenty of sun even when she doesn't get out. She noted, though, as she turned toward the car, "Now, that's sun."
Remembering this, and watching her bask in the sun at the lab parking lot before we entered the lobby, I later suggested, "I've got yard work to start, here, soon. I'm going to need a supervisor." I reminded her, too, that, when she awakens for her day she's, lately, been gazing out the back Arcadia door on her way to the bathroom and saying, "I'll be glad when it's warm enough to spend some time out there."
Although she didn't say yes, to the yard work, she didn't say no. She agreed that "getting out in the yard sounds good, this year."
Anyway, the reasons I haven't been here for awhile are many...some having to do with the activity of sitting being uncomfortable, even in tailor style on the floor. I need to get back to it, though. I've got taxes to finish this weekend. I'm proud of myself for being earlier than usual, although I'm a little later than I thought I'd be. I just haven't been feeling much like doing all the typing I'm going to have to do for our itemized stuff. But, my back's feeling better, now.
I've also been pleased about my relaxed stat taking. Occasionally, I get into a swing where the stats use me rather than me using the stats. I think I've still got all the numbers I've taken, but I've been using them on the fly and not obsessing over recording them. It's nice. But, I need to download and set those up for her upcoming appointment, so I'll probably be a bit more reliable over at The Dailies.
I need to skedaddle over to Revolution and make a mark so I can stay in the trial period. I've been meaning to get back to a couple commenters, and try a few things over there. I just haven't gotten back.
So, that's what's been going on. I should be able to obtain and post her blood draw stats Monday: a CBC and BMP. I think I'll have both done next month, too, just so that we've got a bit of a flow. Her last one was in September. It'll be interesting to see how this one compares to that. I don't expect much change, but I'm wondering about her renal functions. I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but I'm curious.
Oh. Almost forgot. Interesting thing happened at the lab. The technician who took Mom's blood noted that, birthday wise, Mom was coming up on "a big one".
Although Mom can spit out her birth date with the best of them (which one is required to do, now, before having blood drawn, in order to confirm that paper and person match), she has no idea what year we're in, so she had to be prompted that she was turning 90. The tech, who is probably about my age, slipped into this so smoothly I thought, Ah, ha, she's taken care of one or both of her Ancient parents.
I was only slightly off. She volunteered, "My mom's 93 this year. She was really excited about turning 90. She said, 'I'll bet I can make the next big one.'" Nodding to Mom, she said, "That's 100, you know."
I asked her if her mother still lived on her own.
"She's lives with my brother," she said.
"Oh! How is she doing?"
That's when the interesting thing happened. The tech paused, just for a moment...a very noticeable moment. Then she nodded. "She's fine," she said, finishing up the needle prep, to which she'd been paying very close attention as I talked with her.
I knew exactly what she was thinking. She was picturing her Mom...who probably had a few "conditions", maybe more...she was flashing on her brother, perhaps her brother's family, and how much outside energy it takes to keep her mother going, maybe she was calculating how long she thought her mother still has here, and what all this says about whether her mother can really be said to be "fine", and she was quickly satisfying herself that, yes, "She's fine."
My heart lurched.
I nodded. My Mom's fine, too. She won't always be, but she is today.
Later.
