Monday, February 19, 2007
Blood Test Results are back...
...from Mom's 2/16/07 blood draw. She's cruisin'. Her numbers remain, overall, the same as they've been for some years, now. Her calcium and C02 are a tad high, both of which are unusual but not unheard of for her. At any rate, they are registering so little above normal that I'm not worried and I don't expect her doctor to be worried. Otherwise, her GFR is actually better than in September of 2006, although she remains in the "Moderate Decrease in GFR" range, which is to be expected. I was a little disappointed in her Hemoglobin. I was hoping it would at least register normal for Mesa. But, she's doing good, anyway.
I'm relieved. It seems I can pretty much count on my casual observations of how she's doing. Good, good, good.
I'm relieved. It seems I can pretty much count on my casual observations of how she's doing. Good, good, good.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
"I will not be broken by love again."
The title of this post is a reminder to me to write about this in more depth. It was a sentence uttered by a long time friend of mine who recently fell in love. He hasn't described himself as being in love for years, although he isn't one to whom love of a variety of stripes comes hard. He's the one who remembered, over Christmas this year, my fascination with The West Wing and, after years and years of each of us only occasionally acknowledging highlights and holidays in each others' lives, out of the blue, purchased the entire set of the show, being sold this year with the script of the premiere 1st episode included, and sent it to me with a note, "To Our Future President"...absolutely tickling my fancy.
Anyway, we don't correspond that much, but enough to keep up with one another. He recently called to announce that he'd fallen in love. The extreme humor, countered with occasional helplessness, with which he discussed this told me that he's anxious about the event. I didn't advise him. He and I know each other too well to need to do this. When we contact each other about such matters, it is understood that part of the reason for the contact is to allow ourselves to be silently and subconsciously reminded of the other's typical reaction and slant.
Toward the end of the conversation, though, when he declared his position on love in the sentence quoted in the title above, he also set up a post-conversation haunting for me.
After some minutes of repeating the phrase, in his voice, over and over in my head, I realized, yeow! That's exactly what I've allowed to happen to me as I've been my mother's companion: I've thrown myself to the F-5 force breakage of the winds of love, and, I'm pleased I've done this.
Truth is, without thought, I've agreed with his declaration for years, even as I've lost myself in loving my mother. Somehow, I didn't relate the two. Now, I'm thinking, if one doesn't allow love to break one, as in, for instance, breaking a horse for riding, or breaking in a new pair of shoes, it's likely that one also isn't going to allow oneself to experience the benefits of loving and being loved.
Almost time to awaken the Mom, start the day, continue tax preparation, etc.
More...
...later...
...probably in a couple of days.
Anyway, we don't correspond that much, but enough to keep up with one another. He recently called to announce that he'd fallen in love. The extreme humor, countered with occasional helplessness, with which he discussed this told me that he's anxious about the event. I didn't advise him. He and I know each other too well to need to do this. When we contact each other about such matters, it is understood that part of the reason for the contact is to allow ourselves to be silently and subconsciously reminded of the other's typical reaction and slant.
Toward the end of the conversation, though, when he declared his position on love in the sentence quoted in the title above, he also set up a post-conversation haunting for me.
After some minutes of repeating the phrase, in his voice, over and over in my head, I realized, yeow! That's exactly what I've allowed to happen to me as I've been my mother's companion: I've thrown myself to the F-5 force breakage of the winds of love, and, I'm pleased I've done this.
Truth is, without thought, I've agreed with his declaration for years, even as I've lost myself in loving my mother. Somehow, I didn't relate the two. Now, I'm thinking, if one doesn't allow love to break one, as in, for instance, breaking a horse for riding, or breaking in a new pair of shoes, it's likely that one also isn't going to allow oneself to experience the benefits of loving and being loved.
Almost time to awaken the Mom, start the day, continue tax preparation, etc.
More...
...later...
...probably in a couple of days.
