Monday, January 1, 2007
Another indication that I'm on deep cover vacation:
I feel as though I am alone in the house when Mom's sleeping and when she awakens I am startled that she's hear and I must put aside whatever I'm doing. I'm not yet having an unpleasant reaction to these disturbances. I must say, though, it is as though I am having hours-long periods of returning to Normal Time. It's refreshing.
Yet another indication; when I am begrudgingly taking time, I usually end up doing nothing of consequence because I am afraid to start anything, for fear it will be interrupted. On deep cover vacation, though, I notice that I am full of ideas and beginnings and continuances and endings. Their interrupted/interruptive status is beside the point and barely noticed.
I would like to figure out how to incorporate this "deep cover vacation" status into my habitual living patterns as my mother's companion. Maybe I already have and I just haven't taken much advantage of the ability.
Change of Topic: I was directed, by Patty Doherty, to an article published recently (just yesterday, I guess) in the NYT. As I quickly read the article to a purpose, I noticed that the article mentions that there are approximately 15,000,000 adults in the U.S. attempting to render some form of in-home care to their elder relatives. I quickly did the math: That's about 4%. Compared with the statistic from some years ago at Caregiver.com that 54,000,000 of us are caregivers to the elderly and infirm, I assume the 4% statistic is only those of us who are attempting to keep our elders "at home". That sounds about right to me. That would be about 28% of all caregivers in the U.S. who would be intensely involved with in-home care of a related Ancient One.
Still, where are these caregivers? They aren't on the net. Why not? Plainly, we're too god damned busy. Why am I not too busy to keep me off the Net? Well, I have a facility for the Net, for one. And for web publishing. Secondly, I consider this part of the work of taking care of my mother and extending her legacy, so I make time for it. That time comes from what others would consider "personal time". In essence, keeping up with what I'm doing with my mother and how she's doing as she lives through her last years extends her personal legacy and brilliantly plays into some of my own personal interests. I consider it a damn good use of my "personal time".
The article's intention was, rather, to highlight the financial plight of the elderly and their children as they attend to their parents. The story is chiefly from the baby boomer perspective: What are we going to do when we get old after we bankrupt ourselves tending to our parents? The current tragedy is that we are still struggling for inclusive solutions, which will eventually involve social policy, which will also be outdated when we become elderly. The thing is, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid worked fine for our parents' parents. They are working marginally, with generous supplements for our parents...okay, in some cases, okay, many cases, clearly failing our parents. It's possible that none of these programs will be in existence when you and I get old. It is also possible that the boomer generation may be the first in a long time that doesn't outlive its parents, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is social health policy and the failing health institution in this country.
And, that's another thing. We need to stop calling everything vaguely connected with aging an "epidemic". We need to calm down, drop the hysteria. Believe me, that's not going to help. One faith I have is that humans do seem to have the gift of dealing, both through and with, situations. Somehow, many of us boomers will live through old age and discover whether our parents' experiences were of any use to us, at all.
It's almost 1400. I am debating whether to awaken Mom. Her light went out twice last night, the first time recorded over at The Dailies as "0120". She arose, though with the half hour, went to the bathroom, then turned on her bed lamp and proceeded to read until about 1430, I think it was. I was in bed before she turned off her lamp. The sudden hall darkness awoke me and I looked at the clock.
I'll be roasting bone in ribs, today. We'll probably eat late tonight. Potato salad won over because I don't see me making it to the grocery, even though I understand they're open.
The first day of a new year always seems, is, I guess, such a quiet period for me. As though mufflers have been applied to it, or, maybe, accumulated white noise from the previous years stripped away so that, for a day, at least, true silence, pregnant silence, reigns.
I'll let her sleep in. For awhile, anyway. Maybe today will be a serendipitous day.
Later.
Yet another indication; when I am begrudgingly taking time, I usually end up doing nothing of consequence because I am afraid to start anything, for fear it will be interrupted. On deep cover vacation, though, I notice that I am full of ideas and beginnings and continuances and endings. Their interrupted/interruptive status is beside the point and barely noticed.
I would like to figure out how to incorporate this "deep cover vacation" status into my habitual living patterns as my mother's companion. Maybe I already have and I just haven't taken much advantage of the ability.
Change of Topic: I was directed, by Patty Doherty, to an article published recently (just yesterday, I guess) in the NYT. As I quickly read the article to a purpose, I noticed that the article mentions that there are approximately 15,000,000 adults in the U.S. attempting to render some form of in-home care to their elder relatives. I quickly did the math: That's about 4%. Compared with the statistic from some years ago at Caregiver.com that 54,000,000 of us are caregivers to the elderly and infirm, I assume the 4% statistic is only those of us who are attempting to keep our elders "at home". That sounds about right to me. That would be about 28% of all caregivers in the U.S. who would be intensely involved with in-home care of a related Ancient One.
Still, where are these caregivers? They aren't on the net. Why not? Plainly, we're too god damned busy. Why am I not too busy to keep me off the Net? Well, I have a facility for the Net, for one. And for web publishing. Secondly, I consider this part of the work of taking care of my mother and extending her legacy, so I make time for it. That time comes from what others would consider "personal time". In essence, keeping up with what I'm doing with my mother and how she's doing as she lives through her last years extends her personal legacy and brilliantly plays into some of my own personal interests. I consider it a damn good use of my "personal time".
The article's intention was, rather, to highlight the financial plight of the elderly and their children as they attend to their parents. The story is chiefly from the baby boomer perspective: What are we going to do when we get old after we bankrupt ourselves tending to our parents? The current tragedy is that we are still struggling for inclusive solutions, which will eventually involve social policy, which will also be outdated when we become elderly. The thing is, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid worked fine for our parents' parents. They are working marginally, with generous supplements for our parents...okay, in some cases, okay, many cases, clearly failing our parents. It's possible that none of these programs will be in existence when you and I get old. It is also possible that the boomer generation may be the first in a long time that doesn't outlive its parents, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is social health policy and the failing health institution in this country.
And, that's another thing. We need to stop calling everything vaguely connected with aging an "epidemic". We need to calm down, drop the hysteria. Believe me, that's not going to help. One faith I have is that humans do seem to have the gift of dealing, both through and with, situations. Somehow, many of us boomers will live through old age and discover whether our parents' experiences were of any use to us, at all.
It's almost 1400. I am debating whether to awaken Mom. Her light went out twice last night, the first time recorded over at The Dailies as "0120". She arose, though with the half hour, went to the bathroom, then turned on her bed lamp and proceeded to read until about 1430, I think it was. I was in bed before she turned off her lamp. The sudden hall darkness awoke me and I looked at the clock.
I'll be roasting bone in ribs, today. We'll probably eat late tonight. Potato salad won over because I don't see me making it to the grocery, even though I understand they're open.
The first day of a new year always seems, is, I guess, such a quiet period for me. As though mufflers have been applied to it, or, maybe, accumulated white noise from the previous years stripped away so that, for a day, at least, true silence, pregnant silence, reigns.
I'll let her sleep in. For awhile, anyway. Maybe today will be a serendipitous day.
Later.
Comments:
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Originally posted by Mona Johnson: Tue Jan 02, 04:42:00 PM 2007
Happy New Year, Gail! And enjoy your "vacation!"
Patty and I have talked before about how invisible people with dementia and their caregivers are - I think this is slowly changing, with caregiver blogs and sites like yours.
Yes, we'll see how things work out for our generation. In the meantime, the kind of visibility you, Patty and other caregiver bloggers are providing is a way to start addressing the problem.
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Happy New Year, Gail! And enjoy your "vacation!"
Patty and I have talked before about how invisible people with dementia and their caregivers are - I think this is slowly changing, with caregiver blogs and sites like yours.
Yes, we'll see how things work out for our generation. In the meantime, the kind of visibility you, Patty and other caregiver bloggers are providing is a way to start addressing the problem.
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