Mom & Me Five Archive

...especially considering "Sue's" very kind and very much appreciated comment on a post about which I was feeling unsettled because it whipped out of me, already written. I'd been reading Dementia Caregivers Share Their Stories. I am not reading the sections in order (a lovely thing about this book, by the way, somewhere in the preface the authors invite you to not read it in the order in which it is published) and I think I was about half way through my second section. Suddenly, I felt that post well up and I stopped and wrote it, then continued reading.
    Much to my red faced surprise, sometime today (I've read a great deal of the book, today...it's a page turner, now, it's surprised and delighted me so much) I ran across a section that is a different version of exactly what I said! This, I think, can be taken as initial proof that the book does it's job.
    Of the 13 sections, I have read eight. My intention is to definitely write about my reading of this book. I expect I will do it, once again, through the device of an abridged tour through my highlightings and notes, although I'll probably organize by section, this time, and probably quote only a third of the stuff I highlighted. Although the book is only 237 pages long, it is dense with portraits and information. The subtitle of the book is: "A Support Group in a Book". It is this, primarily, but it's character has several other facets.
    This book is compiled from the experiences of the participants of the cream of what is available to caregivers in any particular area in the U.S. It is thoroughly familiar with the variety of caregiver experiences, as most people did not make it to Family Alliance (which is specific to an area), the administrator of the support group from which the participants for the vignettes in this book were chosen, on the first try. Much of its value is in its report character. By the end of the book, you know quite a lot about quite a few families involved in caring for a loved one with dementia. This reportage, alone, is responsible for over half of its support value. The book covertly apologizes for itself as being based on a strongly homogeneous social and cultural group and it is true that sometimes this homogeneity is troublesome. But mostly, it provides personal narrative themes for each caregiver-and-family that run throughout the book. Another of its strengths is that it recognizes, out of the gate, that there are a variety of demential states, some progressive, some not, most not understood well enough to allow for accurate prognosis or diagnosis. It stresses that while you can learn from almost any caregiver's experiences, you cannot project from anyone's experiences. Caregivers learn this very quickly. I'm pleased that professionals are passing this information among themselves, now.
    Before I write any more about the book, I intend to finish it and reread Mona's interview with Lynda A. Markut, one of the book's authors. Then, I'll be back...
    ...later.
    One more thing about the book: I am surprised at how caregivers, once exposed to other caregivers through a support group or other means, across the board believe that most other caregivers have it worse than they do. Even the men come to this conclusion. I find this startling. I'm wondering what it says about the state of elder caregiver-hood; that we tend to see it as much worse than it is. Funny thing, we tend to see parenthood as much better than it is. It's all about attitude, I guess, and it looks like, as a society, we've got a lot of attitude work to do in regard to the idea of caregiving, let alone the reality of caregiving.

    Oh...otherwise things are going well. We are headed into our hottest week this week. Temperatures in the low 100's are predicted for downtown over a two day period, one of those days being July 4th. That will mean low 90's in our area, but we're prepared. I picked up some enamel paints and talked up Mom's and my business scheme to her, even elaborated on it, so I think we'll be painting eggs over the next few days.
    I felt peculiarly adept, today, in regard to negotiating traffic around here. Prescott is a landlocked city/town. There are only two established ways into and out of it. I had some errands to run today and I knew the Rodeo celebrations had begun. On the spur of the moment I maneuvered through the lesser traveled areas of town and completely avoided the parking lot that downtown Prescott had become.