Mom & Me Five Archive

    I'm assuming, at least in the U.S. and territories, Wednesday is a holiday. I guess I'll figure it out when I hit the road on errands, in a few minutes. Meds to pick up. I don't think I need to do anything else, but I probably will.
    I'll tell you, one of the things I so like about this book I'm continuing to read, Dementia Caregivers Share Their Stories is that it isn't in the business of shouting down caregivers. At all. Not even the least little bit. Believe me, I'm a good judge of this. I am always sensitive to the voice that betrays the least bit of hysterical prescription when it comes to caregiver "advice". In this book, advice flows out of stories and is frequently accompanied by the constant warning, "This situation may never occur for many caregivers." As I read this book, I cannot help but wonder how valuable it would be to have such a study done on homogeneous groups of caregivers in a variety of culture sub-settings; one in particular, caregivers who give care through to the death of the care recipient. Although I haven't done a strict count (but doing so is my intention before I officially write about this book), it sounds like one of the homogeneous traits of this group is that they are united in having sought final care for their relatives in nursing homes. My intention (although I am primed for the possibility that my intention may change due to circumstances beyond my control, and I'm okay with this) is to take care of my mother in our home through her death. Reading about O'Dell doing this in Mothering Mother was incredibly instructive for me...and gave me a reason to begin perusing all those books I bought about death over a year ago. I hadn't, previous to reading about this in her book, feared the possibilities but I'd been completely unaware of these possibilities. She mentions Nuland's book enough so that I remember her mentioning it. I have a copy of this book, but haven't read it. I'm especially encouraged because it seemed like a mainstay for her.
    I just finished the section on Holidays and Celebrations. Although my problems with these are completely self-made and have nothing to do with my mother's behavior during them, I realized that, in a sense, one, I, could say that I had my own decades long celebratory traditions and had to modify those in order to make way for my mother's enjoyment of the holidays, which is very traditional. This always causes me some stress, but over the years I've gotten over the stress and figured out how to handle both my and my mother's preferences. I love, love, love, by the way, the traditional family scenario Patty's family established. I wish this had been a tradition in our family. We were ripe for something like this. I think, at this stage of the game, it would only be confusing for my mother...but being the center of everyone's attention except mine will, I think, be delightful for her. I'm hoping she ends up between an in-law and a grandchild. Must make a note: No booths for the Mom. She disappears below the table ledge when she's in a booth.
    Well, I suppose this is a good enough time for me to pick up meds; before I remember anything else it might seem necessary for me to do.
    Later.